27 November 2015

By: kellyoarts | 27 Nov 2015

It’s been almost 4 months since I wrote an entry here. Oops. From what I hear, my site has also been semi-broken for a month. Double oops. My poor website is so neglected. Don’t worry, I’m working on it this holiday weekend (which probably means it’ll be even more broken than when I started). Let me address some of the comments, questions, and concerns you fine people have hit me up with:

The “comments” sections don’t work on any of your posts

After an entry is posted, the comments section stays open for 20 days. That’s it. That’s how much time you have to make up your mind on whether or not you want to say something. After 20 days, the comments automatically close and you can no longer see comments that were posted. I do this because A.) I’m awful about approving and replying to comments and B.) It’s easier for me to manage the comments when I’m not trying to figure out which post it’s on. Have something to say and it’s been more than 20 days since I posted an entry? Use the contact page! Berate me on Twitter! I’m down with that.

One of your portfolio projects doesn’t load / one of the projects takes a long time to load

I have no idea why either of these things happen. My host? My server? Your internet connection? Not a clue. Try reloading. If that doesn’t work, try coming back later and loading it. If it still doesn’t work and you’re not having problems loading any other page, contact me. It’ll take me 3 months to fix it, but it’s nice of you to let me know!

You had a project up that’s no longer up. Why did you take it down?

There’s about a 50% chance that I didn’t actually mean to take it down, it’s just not working properly. I know, it’s awful. There is obviously a lot in the world about which I have no clue, much of which relates directly to the maintenance of my own website. Someone want to make my website work well for me? I can pay you in small drawings that’ll never be worth anything.

There’s a shirt design you used to have that you don’t anymore and I want it

It depends on which one, but I can possibly make this happen. Again, contact me with specifics.

I asked you to draw ______ forever ago and you haven’t yet!

I get asked to draw something/someone every. single. day. At one point, I had a list going. I gave up on that list a long time ago. It’s like people find out you’re an artist and their first reaction is to ask you to draw something. It’s like a test. “I don’t believe you can really draw, so draw something RIGHT NOW.” Not to mention, no one wants to pay you for your work. So, if you’ve asked me to draw something/someone, be patient. I’ll probably get around to it. Have hope. I think there’s a quote for that, hold on…

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Boom. MLK Jr and I share a birthday, so I try to slip in quotes from him at random times. My friends love it; don’t let them tell you otherwise.

I met you at ______ Portfolio Review! You were a reviewer / you were a presenter. Do you remember me?

I’m sorry, but probably not. I do a lot of portfolio reviews all over the place and I meet a lot of people. If I was a presenter, I definitely don’t remember you. In fact, I don’t remember anything from any point of that day. Only three things make me super nervous: presentations in a room full of strangers, cops driving real close behind me, and my doctor’s office. In all of those situations, I lose my mind a little. My legs go numb, I can feel my heartbeat in my lips, and I feel like I’m fairly close to death. So, no, I definitely don’t remember you if I was a presenter. But thanks for remembering me! I’m flattered that you liked me enough out of the 9242974 presenters (not the actual number) to look me up.

Can you give me some tips for how to improve my portfolio? I want to get accepted to ______.

That’s what portfolio reviews are for and I promise I can’t tell you any secrets here that you wouldn’t learn there. However, since I get asked this CONSTANTLY by teens and parents of teens, I’m going to make a devoted entry to it at some point. It’s really common sense stuff, but we’ll go over it anyway.

Okay, I think it’s time I end this masterpiece of indented paragraphs.

So now, I leave you with the viral video of James Wright trying Patti LaBelle’s new sweet potato pie because everyone needs this in his or her life. If I don’t post again before January (let’s be honest, I probably won’t), happy holidays everyone!